ENTITLED

Temperance, my love, has deserted me,
Healing and trust are at pleasant distance.
Entertaining thoughts that you cannot see,
Slipping, my dark truth, in your persistance.

Offering myself as your sacrifice,
Nothing to save from devastating grace.
Nevermore is tossing her fickle dice,
Everything I know is fading in place.

Treachery in love is now my belief,
Betrayal is the wages of mercy.
Living with love has no hope of relief,
Antidotes are poison coursing through me.

Craven I am now as never before.
Keep close that key which opens my cursed door.

I think that I should never see
A poetess just a sweet as thee.

(My apologies to Joyce Kilmer)

first reaction: acrostic sonnet?? whyy would you make life that hard for yourself?

*reads sonnet*

wow, that's good. just a point, you might want to check the meter...could just be my brain, which is a little screwed up at the moment, but i'm not sure it's all iambic... =S
beyond that tiny nag....i like it.

Once more I admire the craft and reject the premise of one of your poems. It is so well written, and so not true. You have been wounded and have been hurt. But picking at the scab won't help heal the wound.
It grieves me to be so stern, I think you know that it comes from love and respect and empathy.

Regarding improvements, you can spell "persistence" correctly without sacrificing the rhyme.

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